“So, you’re doing an unpaid internship. How are you paying
for it all?”
The first thing people always ask me when I mention I am
doing an internship is whether or not it is paid. When I sheepishly admit that
it is unpaid, they feign surprise and do not hesitate to ask the incredibly
personal question of how I manage to survive without living in a garbage can
like Oscar the Grouch, as if I was the first person they had ever met to do an unpaid internship. Quelle horreur!
You would never ask someone exactly how much money they
make in a year, and if you do, it is always politely phrased in the brackets
“if you don’t mind me asking…” Nobody has to justify their salaried positions,
but those of use who don’t make money are forced to explain our lack of it. How
in hell is it gauche for rich people to talk money, but others are allowed to
nose into the personal lives of those who are struggling as if it was for the
public record.
How I pay for my lifestyle is something I would rather not
discuss, partially because I feel I shouldn’t have to, but also because it is a
huge sore spot in my life. I’m not interested in telling strangers how I walk
an hour to work every day because I would rather not have the added expense of
public transit, among other money-saving initiatives. It makes for a shitty, depressing and downright humiliating conversation.
It’s fucking ridiculous how no one ever asks University
students how they survive in school. Kids pay thousands of dollars every semester
to go to school and ‘educate themselves’, which usually means smoking a lot of
weed and staying up all-night writing a paper they forgot was due. Higher
education is a hell of a lot more expensive than working for free and nobody
ever asks students how they manage, because it’s obvious: they either assume
gross debt in the form of student loans, or their parents pay for school, possibly both. I’m sure there are some people who can afford to pay their own
educational expenses through co-op programs, but these self-supporting students
are not the overwhelming majority.
So, hearing people ask such a grating and personal
question about my bank account on a regular basis makes me want to freak out
and go all Jack Nicholson in A Few Good Men; “You can’t handle the truth!!”
What were my choices, really? I could continue to work my
shitty part-time minimum wage retail job and supplement it with my freelance
writing income indefinitely, or I could choose to spend my days doing something
that I really, really, wanted to do, which is work at a magazine.
In retail, I was wasting away. I went to work, served the
customers, and went home. I was not going to “move up in the company” because I
didn’t give a shit about the company. It was mindless, meaningless and was
contributing nothing to my desired career path. So I decided to leave it behind
in favour of improving my skills and making connections in a field that I
desperately want to work in. My internship is stressful and intense, but I know
I am good at what I do and getting better every day. The work I do is
gratifying, and I am happy to do it. I no longer dread going to a work where I
have to smile at people and repeat the same eight sentences for hours on end.
But still, how am I paying for it? There is really no way
to say “my parents are helping me out” without sounding like a privileged, Park
Avenue princess. Yes, I have privilege, but at the same time I am just paying
my dues. The media industry is structured in a way that supports this
privilege. Unpaid internships are completely unfair, but it doesn’t change the
fact that they are commonplace. Thousands of young people have paved the way by
working for free before me, and thousands will continue to trample the path
long after my six months are completed.
If you haven’t read the article “How to Succeed in Journalism Without Doing an Unpaid Internship” yet, you really should. I won’t ruin the article for you, but.. Actually I will.
Spoiler alert, the answer is privilege.
Next time you ask somebody how they can afford to do an
unpaid internship, maybe you should ask yourself how you afford to eat $10
lunches three times a week, or how you justify spending $100+/month on your
cell phone bill. People justify certain expenses because they want them in
their lives. It’s really as simple as that. You are probably not a financial
angel with a Suze Orman-shaped halo, so it is not your place to label me while
I live as frugally as I can in the hopes that it will someday pay off.
I am reading this on the eve, of an interview to do an unpaid internship. I am hoping I get this internship and I feel exactly like you ... great new blog enjoying this reads.
ReplyDeleteexcited about the new blog, isabel. i, too, am in the the process of working unpaid jobs until i can land something i really want to do. i was telling a friend the other day, that for our generation - at least those of us interested in creative fields - the unpaid internship is the new graduate school. hey, at least we don't have to pay, right...?
ReplyDeletei guess that's just the way it works these dayz. and yes, it is mostly (entirely?) accessible to those w privilege. all i can say, is that for me, that doesn't mean that i feel i shouldn't participate in order to fulfill my dream of working in fashion.
xx
I don't know what kind of jerks you've been talking to, because most internships are unpaid. I've had five internships and only two of them were paid (and I still worked a full-time job, because the pay was minimal) and I was still in college at that time. After graduating, finding a paid internship was just as difficult as finding an actual job: impossible. Rather than ending up like me, the Queen of Internships, I hope yours leads to a more solid position.
ReplyDeleteWhat industry do you work in?
ReplyDeleteI'm in the design industry and I know all too well that sometimes the only work one can find is unpaid, or perhaps it's the only way to engage with a studio/company you'd really like to work for.
Having said that, I personally believe that no studio/company worth its salt should offer unpaid internships - if they can't afford to pay, they can't afford to hire, it's as simple as that.
But the reality is that many of the top studios (in architecture and furniture design at least) are very aware of the fact that students and graduates will camp overnight on their doorstep for the opportunity of even unpaid work, and they take advantage of this!
Hopefully your internship is a fruitful one!
Sounds a bit like the conversation I regularly have which goes:
ReplyDeletePerson: So, Lauren, what do you do?
Lauren: Me? Well I write. Mainly plays, but also a blog.
Person: Oh, really? And does that pay much?
Lauren: Well, no, not yet, but I need to do a bit more work establishing -
Person: - no, no I wouldn't think that would earn you much money from that!
Lauren: Well, I'm hoping that -
Person: What do you do for money?!
Lauren: I tutor.
Person: Oh good. And do you plan on going into education eventually?
Lauren: Nope.
Person disapproves.
But then, last Saturday night, a change!
Person: What? A playwright?! That is so exciting! I've never met a playwright before. You've made my night!
So, moral is, there are some nice people out there, who care as little about my financial situation as I do but as much about my writing as I do as well. Not everyone understands the people who make the tough choices in hope that it'll be worth it in the end.
Keep on! And get those gold sneakers of amazement to conquer that one hour walk in!